Parent Newsletter

I walk our golden retriever most days early in the morning at the Dana Point Harbor near our home. Recently, “Hobie” and I were strolling along the water and an older couple was walking toward me holding hands. They looked so very happy. Since my book Creating an Intimate Marriage had just been released, I am always intrigued by couples who look like they have it together. I greeted them, and they greeted me and started talking about my dog. I then said, “You look so happy. What is your secret to keeping an intimate marriage strong?”

In order to get back to the place of making your marriage a top priority you will have to take the necessary steps, and work through some issues. You may or may not get the help you want from your spouse, but that doesn't matter at this point in your effort to create a more intimate marriage. Go ahead...do what it takes to make a difference in your marriage. The starting point may surprise you, though. Don't begin by focusing on your relationship. Instead, take a deeper look at your own life. Self-care can be the first step to moving your marriage to more healthier place.

The trait that is most closely linked to the success or failure of your marriage is your ability to communicate. Sometimes in marriages, we develop some very poor communication habits. Dr. John Gottman is one of the world's leading experts on marriage. He claims that he often can determine if a couple is on the road to divorce by observing them interact on an issue of conflict. Much of Dr. Gottman's finding centers around the use of negativity as poor communication.

Here’s a quiz for you to take with your kids that ought to provide lots of good discussion about how well your family knows each other. The goals of this activity are to improve family communication, learn some new things about each other, and to laugh and have some fun as a family. Moms and Dads should take the “For Moms and Dads” portion of the quiz while the kids should take the “For Kids” part of the quiz. After everyone completes the quiz, go over everyone’s answers and see just how well you know each other. There’s only one rule: Have fun!

Last October, we asked our readers to give advice to parents about whether or not to allow kids to participate in Halloween activities. This seems like an appropriate time to republish some of the responses we received from you, our subscribers.

While it might seem a bit early to start thinking about Thanksgiving, it will be here in no time! An attitude of gratitude, of course, shouldn't be a once-a-year deal, and hopefully cultivating a thankful heart goes beyond that one special Thursday in November for all of us. Still, it doesn't hurt to rev up our gratitude "engines" as we get closer to Thanksgiving Day. So, here is a simple 30-day plan for you and your family, that can help do just that!