Question:

How do I know who God wants me to marry? I have been living with a man and have a child from him. We have been living together for almost 10 years. We have a lot of problems. He drinks every day. I'm not sure what to do. Please help!

Answer:

Thank you for your question. Some of the choices you have already made are a part of the answer to your question. According to the state in which you live, it is likely that you and your boyfriend are already legally married. Common law marriage usually takes effect after 7 years, therefore, you may want to check with the laws of your state to determine your actual marital status.

The other fact that you have a child together continues to complicate the issue. In God's eyes, you have created a family with this man and your child, even though it may not be recognized by the state. Your child receives the benefits of living with both parents, and this is the only family he/she knows. Therefore, I think that it may be your question that is misaligned. The better question may be, "Now that I am in this relationship, what do I need to do/be to best honor God?"

In regards to the problems in the relationship, I would encourage you to seek wise Christian counseling for you and your child and the father. It is likely that with some help, guidance, and intervention, the decisions you make regarding this relationship now can help strengthen it for the future.

Leslie