Question:How should a mother react when she finds her 12 year old daughter receiving and writing very sexually driven letters to her boyfriend? What steps should she take in this situation?
Thank you for your question. I am sure that this has been a very distressing time as you decide how to handle this situation.
Honesty is always the best policy, especially when addressing a sensitive topic. You may want to find a time when you can talk with your daughter and ask her about the letters. Expect her to be upset that you know about the letters. She will likely feel embarrassed, hurt, betrayed and may express a great deal of anger toward you. Do your best not to engage in a fight. Allow her some time to calm down (you, too). Reassure her of your love and that it is very normal for her to be curious about her sexuality. However, you are very concerned about these notes. Express your feelings and talk openly with her about what is and what is not acceptable behavior (including conversation) with her boyfriend. Don't be afraid to stand up and set some very clear boundaries and expectations. Society is selling her a very twisted view of sexuality and as her parent, it is your job to counter that message with a healthy view of sexuality.
Her curiousity is not uncommon. It's just time for the two of you to talk very openly about what it means to express oneself as a godly young woman.
May God grant you divine wisdom and grace as you have this conversation.